the Small Voice

YC came back for a few days to attend her auntie's funeral. It is not mournful at all as she knows she will see her again in Heaven someday. This is the greatest comfort and real hope for any Christian.

Being close friends since we were in the Roo-land, no matter how busy we are, YC, YA, YD & I will arrange a gathering to catch up with each other everytime YC comes back. We chat and shop and enjoy food together. They have been such a blessing since the Roo days.
As a little unspoken ritual, during every reunion, we exchange little gifts which we think would be delighting to each other. This sweet little ritual is a way to express our love to each other and how we cherish this friendship. I feel really bad for unable to prepare some gifts for them this time... :(

YC is preparing for her missionary service in TW. She is the 2nd close friend from the Roo days who has made this decision after JS. Whenever I read or hear their sharing, the Small Voice will ask, "What are you doing here?".

I'm quite sure I don't have the vision to evangelise in a faraway land, at least not at the moment. God does not intend every Christian to be missionary but He does have a unique plan for each Christian. Somehow I feel like I have stopped seeking for His will and His guidance patiently and obediently for quite some time. I do pray, read the Bible, medidate on His words, but it is different from waiting on Him and seeking for His will. I know there is something wrong. But I don't know what it is.

Lord, I need Your help, to be still in front of You and surrender to Your lordship. I can't do it.